89: What if I move abroad… and hate it?
What if I move abroad and hate it?
What if you move abroad and hate it? Because even with all the research, planning, and excitement, there’s always a chance things won’t go as expected. What if the move feels wrong? What if I regret leaving? What if I want to come back? Would I feel like a failure?
This fear is completely normal. Moving abroad is a big decision—and big decisions often come with big uncertainty. But just because the fear is valid doesn’t mean it should keep you stuck.
In this post, I’ll share how I’d handle that fear if I were moving abroad again. What I’d do differently, how I’d prepare, and how I’d reframe the experience if it didn’t go as planned. Whether you’re thinking about making a move or you’re already abroad and having doubts, this will help you think things through with more clarity and confidence.
Where This Fear Comes From
Fearing the unknown is completely normal. Fear of regret? Also normal. Our brains are wired to keep us safe, to stick with what we know, and to avoid risk. So when you’re thinking about leaving your country, your job, your routines, your community… of course your brain is going to ask, “What if this goes badly?”
There’s also real pressure to “get it right.” Moving abroad often feels like a big, public life decision. People around you might have strong opinions, and you might feel like you’re making one permanent leap.
And let’s be honest: social media doesn’t help. Online, expat life is all sunsets, pastries, and weekend trips. You don’t see the potential homesickness, the culture shock, the loneliness. So when those things hit, you might think, “Oh no—did I make a mistake?”
But can I let you in on a little secret? I have met many people who have moved abroad. And I have never, not once, met somebody who regretted their move abroad. Not a one. Some people might decide to move back after a year or two, but nobody actually moves abroad and says, “I didn’t like it. I wish I didn’t come here.”
Reframing the Fear
Here’s something I always ask:
What’s the actual worst-case scenario?
For most people, the answer is:
→ You move back.
That’s it. You try it. You learn something. And if you decide it’s not right for you, you come home or move somewhere else. That’s not failure—that’s experience and you accomplished what you set out to do.
Moving abroad doesn’t have to be forever. You’re not signing a lifetime contract—you’re giving yourself an adventure. Think of it as a season, a chance to learn about yourself in a new context.
And don’t forget:
You’ve already done hard things in your life. You can do this too.
How to Prepare for the Possibility You Don’t Like It
If you’re worried about hating your move, there are smart ways to prepare:
- Test the waters: Start with a 3–6 month trial stay or extended visit before making a full commitment.
- Have a return plan: Keep some savings set aside, store your things rather than selling everything, and think through how you’d come back if needed.
- Give yourself a grace period: Don’t judge your move by the first few weeks. It takes time to settle in.
- Talk to others who’ve done it: Get real stories. You’ll find people who loved it, people who left, and people who changed course—all of them learned something valuable and I can guarantee you that none of them will say they regret it.
What You Might Regret More
If you’re afraid of moving and hating it…
Ask yourself this: Will I regret trying—or not trying?
Often, the deeper regret is staying stuck. Wondering what could have been. Playing it safe, but always second-guessing.
Future You will be proud you were brave—even if the experience isn’t exactly what you pictured.
You can’t discover what you really want unless you’re willing to try things you might not.
How I’d Prepare in Advance
If I were planning to move abroad again, here’s how I’d prepare in case I didn’t enjoy it:
- Start with a short stay: 3 to 6 months before making bigger decisions – or even a week or two! Whatever amount of time you’re able to swing!
- Keep options open: Leave items in storage and save money for a return plan
- Avoid early judgment: Give the experience a few months before making decisions
- Talk to others: Ask people who’ve moved abroad about their experiences
These things will give you room to adjust and be prepared for any changes.
What I’d Regret More
For me, the bigger risk is not trying at all. If I never moved because I was afraid of hating it, I’d never know if it could work.
So what if you move abroad and hate it? Well, you won’t know unless you try. BUT of those I know who have tried it, not ONE person has said they have regretted it.
Final Thoughts
It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to have doubts.
But don’t let fear be the thing that holds you back from trying something that could change your life.
You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to come back.
You’re never stuck and you can book a flight to return home the next day if you wanted!
Helpful resources for your journey:
- 82: I’ve applied to a bunch of jobs abroad and haven’t heard back — What am I doing wrong?
- 79: Why a master’s degree could be your golden ticket to Europe
Not sure where to move?
Take my free quiz to find the best European city for your lifestyle: jordangiberson.com/quiz
