24: Will I be lonely when I move abroad? Yes and no.
I’ve been abroad for 4 years now. And over these 4 years, I have do doubt had periods of feeling lonely since my move abroad. But I’ve also had periods of time where I’ll meet somebody new who is AWESOME, but I’m like “yeah you’re super cool and all and I think we’d get on well, but the roster is full. I have enough friends right now and I just don’t have the capacity to invest in any more friendships” But I think sometimes friendships ebb and flow. Sometimes people enter our lives for a short period of time, but sometimes we are lucky enough to meet our soulmate best friends for life. But when you move abroad you will probably need to build some new friendships. Because moving abroad can be lonely, but it doesn’t have to be. So let’s take some time talking about what the different causes of loneliness are and how to combat these when you move abroad!
Find local social support
Loneliness often stems from a lack of social connections. If you are moving somewhere where you already have a strong support network of friends, family, or fellow expatriates, that’s awesome. You are already going in with a support network, you may be less likely to feel lonely. But for most of us, this is not the case. We’ll need to find our support network when we move abroad.
Stay Connected with Home
When you move abroad, I’d make sure you are staying connected with your friends and family from back home. Yes, be excited about meeting new people abroad and build those new connections, but I wouldn’t kick your old friends and family to the curb. You cant JUST stay friends with your friends and family from back home, otherwise you won’t feel as connected to where you’re actually living. BUT, these are the OG people in your life who know you and love you deeply and it’s important to find ways to maintain connections with them when you do move abroad.
Schedule phone calls and regular visits home
Find ways to maintain regular contact with friends and family back home through video calls, messaging apps, and/or social media. And consider scheduling virtual meetups with loved ones to combat feelings of homesickness.
Knowing that you have trips back to your home country scheduled can provide a sense of comfort and anticipation. I like to go home twice a year and try to get my friends and family to come visit me once a year if they’re able. This is a good rhythm for me, but you’ll have to figure out what works best for you! For your first visit back home, I’d suggest booking a flight back home about 6 months after you arrive in your new country abroad. If you want to go home sooner, I think 4-5 months into moving abroad would be good too! That way, you will have had time to settle into your new home and way of life, before going back to all that is familiar back home.
Language Barrier
If you’re moving to an English speaking country, that’s easy! There might be a funny accent you’ll have to get used to. I had NO idea what people were saying the first couple weeks I moved abroad. Their accents were so heavy and they used different words I wasn’t used to, it was hard for me to understand what they were saying. But I caught on quickly and now I don’t even notice the accents. It’s so normal to me.
If you do NOT speak the local language fluently, it can be isolating. Being unable to communicate effectively can lead to feelings of loneliness and frustration becasue it’s a barrier to socializing. But once you move there, learning the local language will be easier than before you move abroad, because you will be completely immersed in it! You can also enroll in language classes or use language-learning apps to improve your communication skills. I highly recommend enrolling in local language classes because you will not only be able to learn the local language, but will have opportunities to meet other people who are also in the same boat as you – they probably just moved to your new country too, they’re trying to learn the local language too, and are probably also looking for new friends. Jackpot.
And while it will be natural to meet other english speaker friends while you’re abroad, try practice speaking with locals, even if it’s just basic conversations. Many people appreciate the effort and willingness to learn their language. And it will help you practice, so you can integrate into the new city and culture better!
Cultural Adjustment
And speaking of culture, adapting to a new culture can be challenging. But we don’t move abroad because it’s the easy option! So, we’re going to approach each day with a positive attitude and an open mind. We’re going to embrace new experiences and be willing to step out of our comfort zones!
Treat your time abroad as an adventure. Explore new places, try new foods, and engage in local traditions and customs. Take the opportunity to travel within the region and experience different cultures. You could even keep a journal to record your thoughts and feelings, which can help you process your emotions. I really wish I had done this. It would be so fun to look back to see how much I have grown and how much has changed for the good!
Being aware of your personality type
Are you an introvert or extrovert? Introverts get their energy from being alone and extroverts get their energy from spending time with others. Introverted people may be more comfortable spending time alone and might not feel lonely when they move abroad as easily. Extroverts, on the other hand, may find it more challenging to be away from their usual social circles.
But whether you’re introverted or extroverted, humans are not meant to do life alone. We all need to find our people that we can do fun things with, that we can talk to when we’ve had a bad day. Our friends and family from back home are great to talk with, but you need people to experience actual life with in your new country. So, let’s go out there and find them!
How to find your people to combat being lonely when you move abroad
What activities do you enjoy doing? First of all, engaging in activities, hobbies and interests that you enjoy can help combat loneliness in your new home abroad because… well, you’re having fun! But it can also be a great opportunity to meet like minded people!
Pursue your hobbies and interests
So, pursue your hobbies and interests in your new country. Join clubs or organizations related to your passions. Attend local events, festivals, and cultural activities to immerse yourself in the community. And when you do these things you enjoy doing, look around for people to connect with. Go up and introduce yourself. Tell them you just moved here. Ask them how long they’ve been climbing, or in the running club or coming to these pottery classes. You’ll be surprised how these little conversations can spark up a friendship. And then be consistent to come back to this group every week and just see how those friendships blossom!
Exercise – our bodies and minds are happier because of it!
And as a bit of a side note, maybe you’re not into running clubs or taking boxing classes, but we all know that exercise is good for us and releases endorphins. Regular physical activity can boost your mood and reduce feelings of loneliness. So, exercise and take care of your health. Pay attention to your diet, sleep, and overall well-being. This will also help you combat loneliness as your body will be healthier and happier and you’ll be in a better head space for it.
Join expat groups
Some countries and cities abroad have strong expatriate communities and support networks that can help newcomers settle in. This is a great place to find like minded people abroad who have just moved abroad and are looking for a support network, just like you are! These are great friends to have because they will understand exactly what you go through and they are easier to connect with at times. But I think it’s also good to have a mix of expat friends and local friends. Expat friends are great for connecting with because they understand things you struggle with and you are more likely to be like minded with them, but having local friends will be super helpful to learn the local language better and integrate more deeply into the local culture, npt just be on the outskirts of it.
So, seek out expatriate groups on facebook, look into social clubs, or other online communities for people from your home country or who are also expats from other countries. But also make an effort to meet locals and build friendships with people from your new country.
Accept that being lonely when you move abroad is a normal part of life
Listen. We all get lonely. It’s normal to feel lonely in life, whether we live abroad or not. So, expect that you will get a bit lonely when you move abroad from time to time. Don’t be too hard on yourself. I was talking to a girlfriend about this recently, telling her I’ve been feeling lonely lately and she told me she had been feeling lonely as well. And she was living near our hometown where we had both grown up! And she also had good friends in nearby cities. Everyone gets busy and caught up in their own lives and families at times. That happens whether we move abroad. So, if you move abroad and experience loneliness, congrats! You’re human!
But let’s work on finding our people when we move abroad. And recognize that building a social network and adjusting to a new culture can take time. You got this!
But also realize that you can always get help if you need it. If loneliness becomes overwhelming and affects your mental health, consider speaking to a therapist or counselor. Many countries have mental health services available to expatriates.
Remember that it’s natural to experience moments of loneliness when you move abroad, especially during the initial stages of adjustment. With time and effort, you can build a fulfilling life in your new country and create meaningful connections where you won’t feel as lonely when you move abroad. Seek out social connections, engage in activities you enjoy, and find ways to bridge cultural and language barriers. Also, be sure to maintain contact with friends and family from your home country. Connecting with your friends and family from back home through technology can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and I think they’ll feel a lot closer than you think. Let’s go into moving abroad with an open mindset, ready to find our people and accepting that being lonely from time to time is a normal part of life – abroad or not!
