Making Friends Abroad: How to Build a Community When You Know Nobody

Making friends abroad is one of the most underestimated parts of moving abroad. And almost nobody plans for it.

One of the biggest myths about moving abroad is that once you arrive, everything will magically fall into place. In reality, many people discover that making friends as an adult in a brand new country is one of the hardest parts of the entire experience.

Sure, you can have the perfect visa, a great apartment, and your dream job. But without people to share your life with, it can still feel incredibly lonely.

Today I am sharing exactly how to intentionally build a community abroad so your new country actually starts to feel like home.

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Why Making Friends Abroad Matters More Than You Think

When most people plan a move abroad, they focus on the logistics. Visas. Jobs. Housing. Healthcare. Budgeting. These things are important and they absolutely deserve your attention.

However, very few people create a plan for their social life abroad. And that gap is where a lot of people struggle after the move.

Here is the honest truth about making friends abroad. Community often determines whether someone stays abroad long term or eventually decides to move back home. In fact, loneliness can make even your dream destination feel completely isolating. As a result, having just a few close relationships can completely change your entire experience abroad for the better.

At its core, building a life abroad is not just about logistics. Ultimately, it is about relationships. And the sooner you start treating your social life as something worth planning for, the better your experience is going to be.

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Expect Making Friends Abroad to Take Time

One of the biggest mistakes people make when moving abroad is expecting to feel fully settled within a few weeks. That expectation sets a lot of people up for unnecessary disappointment.

In truth, most friendships develop slowly. Everyone you meet already has established routines and existing social circles. Furthermore, adult friendships require intentional and consistent effort in a way that friendships in school or college never did.

The Emotional Rollercoaster Is Normal

Most people go through a pretty predictable emotional arc after moving abroad. During the first few weeks, everything feels exciting and full of adrenaline. Everything is new and interesting. In fact, you might not even feel like you need friends yet because you are just taking it all in.

Then comes the stage that catches most people off guard. This is the this is harder than I expected stage. As the novelty starts to wear off, the weekends feel quieter and you start to miss the ease of your friendships back home.

Here is the thing though — this is completely normal. Feeling lonely at first does not mean you made the wrong decision. Instead, it means you are in the middle of building something that takes time. Give yourself grace and keep going.

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Say Yes More Than You Normally Would

When you are new to a country and actively working on making friends abroad, your job in the first six months is to create as many opportunities for connection as possible. In practice, that means saying yes far more often than you say no.

Accept invitations even when you are tired. Go to local festivals and community events. Try a fitness class you would not normally consider. Show up to the neighborhood market on Saturday morning even if you have no real reason to be there.

Even if something is not your ideal activity, it might introduce you to someone who becomes one of your closest friends. In fact, one of the best pieces of advice I ever received about making friends abroad came from my cousin. She told me to accept the first invitation that comes to you because there might not be a second one.

She was absolutely right. People have their routines and their people. As a result, if you turn down the first invitation, you might simply be forgotten. So say yes, show up, and let the connection happen from there.

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Join Communities Built Around Shared Interests

The easiest friendships when making friends abroad almost always start with something in common. For that reason, the best way to find people you connect with is to join communities built around activities you already enjoy.

Activities Worth Exploring

Running clubs, hiking groups, language exchanges, book clubs, and recreational sports leagues are all great places to start. Beyond that, dance classes, volunteer organizations, faith communities, photography groups, and coworking spaces for remote workers are equally valuable.

The key is choosing something that meets regularly rather than one-off events. In other words, recurring activities mean you are consistently around the same people week after week. Over time, familiar faces become acquaintances, and acquaintances become friends. That repetition is what makes the connection grow naturally.

Instead of asking yourself where do I make friends abroad, try asking a better question. What activities would I genuinely enjoy doing every single week? Start there and let the friendships follow.

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Build Relationships With Both Locals and Other Expats

A question I hear constantly when it comes to making friends abroad is whether to focus on local friends or other expats. The honest answer is both. And here is why each matters.

The Value of Other Expats

Other expats understand what you are going through in a way that locals simply cannot. Not only have they also picked up their lives and started over somewhere new, but they are often actively looking for connection themselves. With other Americans specifically, there is a familiarity and a shared cultural shorthand that feels genuinely comforting when you are far from home.

When I first moved to London, making friends with other Americans was the last thing I wanted. Over time though, I came to deeply value those connections. As it turns out, they feel like a piece of home in the best possible way.

The Value of Local Friends

On the other hand, local friends offer something equally important. They help you learn the culture and improve your language skills. Moreover, they show you places that tourists and new arrivals never find, and they help you feel genuinely connected to your new home in a way that goes beyond just living there.

Having both expat friends and local friends creates a more balanced and complete support system. As a result, make room for both and your experience making friends abroad will be so much richer.

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Use Technology Intentionally When Making Friends Abroad

Technology is one of the most useful tools available when making friends abroad. However, it works best as a bridge to real life interactions rather than a replacement for them.

Some of the most useful platforms include Meetup, Facebook Groups, WhatsApp community groups, local Reddit communities, Eventbrite, Bumble BFF, and local Discord communities. For example, I personally used Meetup to find business networking events and met genuinely great people there. In addition, I met one of my close friends through a WhatsApp community group for women in London.

Ultimately, the goal with all of these platforms is the same. Get off your phone and meet people in person. Use technology to find the opportunity, then show up in real life to build the relationship.

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Become a Regular Somewhere

One of the most underrated strategies for making friends abroad is simply becoming a regular somewhere. Familiarity is one of the most powerful foundations for connection, and fortunately you can create it intentionally.

Become a regular at a neighborhood cafe, a gym, a yoga studio, a farmers market, or a local pub. Go to the same places consistently and at similar times each week. Over time, you will start recognizing familiar faces. A nod becomes a smile, a smile becomes a brief conversation, and eventually that regular face becomes someone you actually know.

In my experience, showing up consistently to the same space week after week is one of the quietest and most natural ways to start building connection when you are making friends abroad from scratch.

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Be the One Who Makes the First Move

Here is something worth saying directly when it comes to making friends abroad. Most adults are simply waiting for someone else to initiate. Because of that, you can be the one who steps up instead.

Invite someone for coffee after a class. Alternatively, suggest brunch after your morning workout or organize a picnic in the park. Start a WhatsApp group for people you have met at a regular event. Host a game night or plan a weekend day trip.

Do not assume people are not interested just because they have not reached out. More often than not, they are simply waiting for someone to make the first move. Being that person consistently is therefore one of the most powerful things you can do when making friends abroad.

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Create Routines That Help You Feel Rooted

Making friends abroad is important. Beyond that though, community is also about feeling connected to your surroundings, not just the people in them. And routines are one of the most effective ways to create that sense of rootedness while your friendship circles are still growing.

Think about simple consistent rituals. A Saturday morning market run. A Sunday walk in a local park. A weekly fitness class or your favorite coffee shop on weekday mornings. These small habits create familiarity, and familiarity creates comfort. As a result, comfort starts to make a place feel like home even before your social circle is fully built.

Do not underestimate how much these simple routines contribute to how settled and happy you feel while you are in the process of making friends abroad.

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Give Yourself Grace While Building Community Abroad

Making friends abroad takes more time than most people expect. And during that process, you are going to have moments that feel harder than you anticipated.

You might feel lonely. You might miss the ease of your friendships back home. You might look at other people abroad and wonder why they seem to have it all figured out. In truth, they probably do not. Most people moving abroad experience the same feelings, and that means you are not behind. You are simply in the middle of the process.

So keep showing up. Keep reaching out. Keep giving your relationships the time and space they need to grow. In the end, the friendships that come from making friends abroad with real intention and real consistency are some of the most meaningful ones you will ever have.

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Final Thoughts on Making Friends Abroad

Making friends abroad is not about becoming best friends with every single person you meet. Rather, it is about consistently putting yourself in situations where connection can happen.

Friendship is rarely instant. Instead, it grows through repeated interactions, shared experiences, and small moments that accumulate over time. Eventually, the country you move to will feel less like a destination and more like home because of the people you meet along the way.

If you are moving abroad, do not just make a visa plan or a housing plan. Additionally, make a friendship plan. Decide how you will meet people before you arrive, commit to showing up consistently, and remember that making friends abroad is just as important as finding a job or an apartment.

Still figuring out which European city is the right fit for your lifestyle? Take the free quiz at jordangiberson.com/quiz

Grab the free guide, the 5 Exact Steps to Move Abroad, at jordangiberson.com/guide

Worried about what people will say when you announce your move? Go listen to Episode 113: Things People Will Say When You Tell Them You Are Moving Abroad