139: The biggest mistakes Americans make when choosing a country abroad
If you have been spending months choosing a country abroad to move to, scrolling through Instagram reels of cobblestone streets in Italy and golden hour cafes in Lisbon, stop for just a moment…
One of the biggest mistakes Americans make when choosing a country abroad is picking a destination before understanding what kind of life they actually want.
They fall in love with a place. They try to force their life into it. And then they move abroad and realize that the country that felt like a dream on vacation feels completely different when it is just a regular Tuesday.
Moving abroad is not a vacation. The country that makes the best vacation destination is not always the country that makes the best home. Today I am walking through the four biggest mistakes people make when choosing a country abroad and the questions you should be asking instead.
Mistake 1: Choosing a Country Abroad Based on Your Vacation Experience
This is the most common one. And honestly, it makes total sense. You spent two weeks in Florence and it was the most magical experience of your life. Or you visited Barcelona and thought, I could live here forever.
Vacation mode is not real life though.
On vacation, you are staying in the city center, eating out every meal, going on tours, and seeing the sights. None of the things that make up your actual daily life exist on that trip. Work stress does not exist on that trip. Bureaucracy does not exist either. Neither does grocery shopping, doing your laundry, or figuring out your commute.
Italy might be incredible for two weeks. Living there full time is a completely different experience. There is a significant amount of bureaucracy involved in daily life there. Paris works the same way. It sounds like a dream until you are actually renting an apartment, building a social life, and navigating a city that is not always as romantic as it looks on your feed.
The question worth asking yourself is this: if you had to work a full-time job there, rent an apartment, deal with taxes, and go grocery shopping every single week, would you still choose that country? That question changes everything.
How to Test Drive a City Abroad Before You Commit
One of the most important things you can do before choosing a country abroad is what I call a test drive. Most people visit a city like a tourist. Seriously considering a move abroad means experiencing places through a completely different lens. Not would I enjoy visiting here. But could I build a life here.
Ride public transportation. Skip the Ubers and get on the metro, the bus, or the tram. Ask yourself whether it is reliable, easy to navigate, and something you would enjoy using every single day.
Go grocery shopping. This is one of my favorite indicators of real life abroad. Walk into a local grocery store and look at the prices, the selection, and the products you buy regularly. This is what your actual daily life is going to look like.
Walk through residential neighborhoods. Skip the tourist centers and explore where locals actually live. Walk past the parks, the cafes, the gyms, and the everyday services. Ask yourself whether you could see yourself living on this street.
Work a normal day. If you work remotely, bring your laptop, work from a cafe, and take your meetings. Follow your actual routine as closely as possible and pretend it is not a vacation.
The Boring Stuff Is Where Clarity Comes From
The questions most people skip are the ones that matter most. Where would you exercise? Where would you buy household items? How long would your commute be? How easy would healthcare be? How would you build a social life?
The boring stuff is actually what determines your long-term happiness abroad. Not the view from the rooftop bar.
This is something I learned firsthand when I was considering moving to a new neighborhood in London. Chelsea and Notting Hill had always felt exciting to visit. Walking through those areas with the lens of could I live here instead of do I enjoy visiting here changed everything. The streets felt too hectic. There were no gyms nearby that I liked. The housing was too expensive. Visiting those neighborhoods felt great. Living there would not have felt the same.
My personal rule whenever I am seriously considering a city: stop asking whether you love it and start asking whether you could build a sustainable life there. Moving abroad is not about creating the perfect vacation. Creating a life that still feels good six months later, one year later, and five years later is the whole point.
Mistake 2: Choosing a Country Abroad Based on Social Media
Instagram makes every city look incredible. The beaches, the cafes, the historic streets, and the gorgeous apartments with the perfect light all make it onto your feed. Visa paperwork does not. Job searches do not. Housing shortages, salary realities, and bureaucracy do not show up either.
Before falling in love with a country because of what you have seen online, make sure you are also researching what it actually takes to build a life there. What does the job market look like? What is the average salary compared to the cost of living? How competitive is the housing market? How complex is the visa process?
The dream and the reality can both be true. Getting the full picture before choosing a country abroad is what sets you up for success.
Mistake 3: Starting With the Country Instead of the Life You Want
This is the big one and the mistake I see most often when Americans are choosing a country abroad. Most people start by asking where should I move. The better question is what kind of life do I actually want.
Once you get clear on the life you want, identifying the right country becomes so much easier. Here are the four areas worth thinking through first.
Career
What is your plan for making money abroad? Remote work, local employment, and freelancing all point you toward different countries and different visa pathways. Northern European countries tend to offer stronger job market access and career growth. Countries with digital nomad visas are a better fit if you plan to work remotely.
Lifestyle
Big city energy or something slower and smaller? Walkability, beach access, outdoor space, and pace of life all factor into how happy you will be day to day. Sunshine, beaches, and a relaxed rhythm point toward Southern Europe. Strong infrastructure and international city energy point toward places like London, Amsterdam, or Berlin.
Community
This one is massively underestimated when choosing a country abroad. Community is what helps you settle faster than almost anything else.
When I first moved to London, making friends with other Americans was the last thing I wanted. Something new and exciting was what I was after. The longer I have lived here though, the more I value those connections with people who grew up in a similar world.
What I would genuinely encourage you to do is look for places with a strong expat community. Not because you should only spend time with other expats, but because expats are often the easiest people to build connection with quickly. They are also looking for friendship. They also picked up their lives and started over somewhere new. That shared experience creates real relationships faster than almost anything else.
Local friendships matter deeply too. In the beginning though, expat community is often what keeps people settled and happy while those local connections develop over time.
Travel Access
Easy access to travel around Europe, global flight connections, and domestic exploration are all practical factors that affect your daily quality of life. Factoring these in early saves you from realizing too late that your dream city is two layovers away from everywhere you want to go.
Mistake 4: Ignoring Visa Reality When Choosing a Country Abroad
Many people ask what is the best country to move to. The better question is which countries are realistically available to me.
Not every country has a visa pathway that fits your situation. The UK does not have a retirement visa, for example. Dreaming of retiring in London means needing to know that before getting too attached to the idea. Not every country has a digital nomad visa. Getting local employment is significantly more complex in some countries than others.
Match Your Visa to Your Work Plan
Someone might dream of Switzerland and have no realistic visa pathway for what they are looking for. Someone else might overlook Portugal or Spain entirely despite having a very clear and achievable route to get there.
Before getting too deep into researching a specific country, figure out what type of work you plan to do abroad. Then check whether that country actually has a visa category that supports it. That single step will save you a significant amount of time and heartbreak down the line.
A Simple Framework for Choosing the Right Country Abroad
Now that we have covered what not to do, here is the framework I would actually use when choosing a country abroad.
Step 1: Get clear on the life you want. What are your non-negotiables? What does your ideal week look like across career, lifestyle, community, and travel?
Step 2: Figure out which visa options you qualify for. Based on how you plan to work and live abroad, which visa categories are actually available to you?
Step 3: Identify which countries fit both. Compare countries against your priorities and your visa options rather than going off vacation memories or what looked good on Instagram.
Step 4: Test drive your top choices. Before committing, go and experience those cities through the living lens. Walk the residential streets, ride the public transport, go grocery shopping, and work a normal day. Ask yourself honestly whether you could build a sustainable life there.
Final Thoughts on Choosing a Country Abroad
If you have been going down the research rabbit hole for months, stop and ask yourself one honest question.
Am I choosing a country because it looks exciting? Or because it genuinely supports the life I actually want to build?
That distinction is everything when it comes to choosing a country abroad.
Take the free quiz to find out which European city matches your goals and lifestyle at jordangiberson.com/quiz
Grab the free guide, the 5 Exact Steps to Move Abroad, at jordangiberson.com/guide
Worried about what people will say when you announce your move? Listen to Episode 113: Things People Will Say When You Tell Them You Are Moving Abroad
